Improve Self-Confidence
Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Tactic Five: Give and receive compliments. Do you feel special when someone gives you a beautiful compliment about yourself? Do you think you make others feel good about themselves when you give them wonderful compliments about themselves? Hopefully your answer to both questions would be yes. People want and need to feel special. Practice giving compliments on a daily basis and soon the favor will be returned upon yourself.We must not allow bad circumstances whether they be past or present to effect our daily lives. Improve your self-esteem to make a better you. We all tarry along in this life with many challenges and gaining a conscious grasp on who you are and learning to love yourself will assist you in building self-esteem. Better self-esteem equals better results in your life.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems-a.k.a.-Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Tactic Five: Give and receive compliments. Do you feel special when someone gives you a beautiful compliment about yourself? Do you think you make others feel good about themselves when you give them wonderful compliments about themselves? Hopefully your answer to both questions would be yes. People want and need to feel special. Practice giving compliments on a daily basis and soon the favor will be returned upon yourself.We must not allow bad circumstances whether they be past or present to effect our daily lives. Improve your self-esteem to make a better you. We all tarry along in this life with many challenges and gaining a conscious grasp on who you are and learning to love yourself will assist you in building self-esteem. Better self-esteem equals better results in your life.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems-a.k.a.-Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
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